Reply To: Live Workshop 3

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Agree with Howard and Alicia. I have some other thoughts that the anger might be from the anger toward his parents (or other caregivers) for not making him feel safe as a child. I learned this from Howard as well as Allan Abbass from ISTDP training. That often the repressed anger that is there toward our parents (Allan often specifically said mother) for not treating us as we deserved as a child is always bubbling under the surface and behind everything. When anger comes up, it is often the anger that was created because of the parents’ treatment of the child that the unconscious brain learned was too dangerous to express and therefore the person spends the rest of their lifetime repressing. Tears can often be a protective mechanism to hide the true emotion of anger. A person goes straight to tears and sadness and becomes a weak victim, rather than going to the true underlying emotion of anger which represents more power, strength and a positive core belief of worthiness. A person thinks they are very expressive of emotion because they cry a lot, but it is really covering up the anger. Particularly common in women (this was an aha moment for myself in the training). If you can do the EAET work to process and release that anger, which teaches his brain it is not dangerous to feel the emotion of anger, then it doesn’t surface so much and take over current situations. He can then feel safe because his unconscious brain is not afraid of feeling the anger. Howard taught me love, compassion and understanding is always behind the anger, which is why we don’t need to fear it. Then leaning in to the sensations of the anxiety and welcoming them through the lens of safety with PRT, rather than pushing them away can be helpful. Allan Abbass teaches that the anxiety sensations are produced because of not allowing oneself to feel the underlying emotion. If they allow themselves to feel the emotion, the anxiety will go away. Feel free to chime in Howard and Alicia. This was my take home message.