Treating teenagers

[bkennedy]

Hi Alicia and Howard – I have a 14 y/o boy with depression and fatigue that started last fall. I have met him twice now. It is very clear to me that his mother is incredibly controlling and a large part of the problem. I was going to meet with him by himself for the second visit but she wouldn’t allow it. She wanted to be in the room and would just observe and be quiet (both parents were in there and their cell phones went off during somatic tracking and his mother kept telling him to do things during the visit confirming my thoughts). I was thinking of asking to do half of the visit with him alone the following time and just recapping with his parents at the end. Do you have any suggestions or thoughts on it? thanks.

[hschubiner]

I have worked with teens for 30 years now; and you can never be effective with parents in the room like that. I would suggest that you state that it is important for you to see him alone for most of all of the visit. You can get input from the parents at the beginning; and give them some feedback at the end. But if that’s not possible, I would ask them to find a different doctor.

Not sure if there is any other way, really. If you don’t do that, you will just be trying to dance around the issues and not really addressing the causes and not really connecting to him.

Sorry, Howard

[bkennedy]

That is very helpful Howard. Thank you. That’s sort of what I thought. Is there any difference particularly in what tools you use with teenagers? Many of them I’ve spoken with are not so interested in meditation – which I know you say, ‘then don’t meditate’, and I appreciate. I have talked to them about doing other relaxing enjoyable activities (actually suggesting to the kid above that he play video games). I have done somatic tracking and discuss expressive writing. But wondering if you’ve found there are specific differences you’ve found with working with kids versus adults. Thanks!

[abatson]

I don’t work with children, however, when I have worked with young adults, I do agree that meeting with them alone is essential, though I do like how you were able to observe the interaction with the parent in the beginning. I feel like young adults often have more stress from personality traits driving symptoms and from social media making them feel afraid, uncertain, lacking confidence and threatened – especially for girls. Bullying can be more of a factor with children also, and they may have experienced sexual assault or experiences that frightened them, pregnancy, etc. or even, been perpetrators and now, racked with guilt. You would be less likely to get to the bottom of it with a parent there.

[Author]

Posts